I'm On A Horse

This weeks' Monday Morning Memo from Roy Williams. If you are not a subscriber, please get it!

Swim to Kansas

“Hello ladies. Look at your man. Now back to me. Now back at your man. Now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me. But if he stopped using lady-scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down. Back up. Where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand? Back at me. I have it. It’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again. The tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on a horse.”

Much has been made of the new TV ad from Old Spice, “The Man Your Man Could Smell Like.” Yes, its seamless one-shot videography and old-school stage effects are impressive and I’m certain the oyster in his hand is supposed to trigger unconscious sexual appetite, especially when its location is invaded by a massive, Old Spice cylinder that rises slowly upward.

But these are not the things that captivate us. Impressive special effects and hidden sexual triggers are everywhere, no big deal.

That script, however, is a big deal. It’s fabulous. I’m going to pause for a moment to applaud the writer of that ad.

Okay, I’m back now. (And yes, I really did quit typing and applaud.)

The magic of the Old Spice script is hidden in plain sight; imperative voice is the sound of command: “Look at your man. Now back to me.” Swim to Kansas. Walk your dog. Kick a can. Lead the imagination. Don’t be ignored. Write imperative voice.

Imperative: 1. Expressing a command or plea.

2. Having the power or authority to command or control.

3. Impossible to deter or evade; pressing.
Do it. Open with a 3-word sentence. Make the first word a verb. Prepare to be amazed.

Imperative voice gets attention.
Lift the receiver. Dial the number. Two nine five, fifty-seven hundred. Kristin will answer. Make a donation. Finish the tower. Attend a class. Go home smiling. Make big money.

The area code is 512.

I shared all this with my partners during a 2-day training session last month. Tm Miles, a brilliant ad writer with so many clients that he no longer accepts new ones – ka-ching – sent me the following email a few days later:

Subject: Short Sentences Rock!Dude,
That short, impactful sentence exercise we did last week? I used it to write lines for an ad that started Monday. We saw an immediate increase in the number of generated leads. Seriously - BANG like a gun.
Thanks for the technique.
Tim

Here’s a 10-second example:

Swim to Kansas. Forget the water. The arms of the propeller on your Piper Meridian will move you quickly, safely and in powerful style. Swim the grand ocean… of the sky.
These are the keys:1. Short sentences. Four words are okay. Three are better. Two rock.2. Open with verbs. Walk. Sing. Wiggle. Kick. Dance. Jump. Swim. Lift.3. Imperative voice. Tight. Taut. Command.

This week’s memo is short.

I’m on a horse.

Roy H. Williams

Thomas wrote the Declaration of Independence and left you this advice:
“The most valuable of all talents is that of never using two words when one will do.”- Thomas Jefferson
PS - Spoelstra! "The goal of life is to take everything that made you weird as a kid and get people to pay you money for it when you're older."- David "Swim to Kansas" Freemanscreenwriter extraordinaire and Wizard Academy adjunct faculty